Bigfoot was ill-equipped to reconcile the emotional contradictions that roiled within him. As the living embodiment of the missing link, he felt that his belief in a singular all-powerful deity named Logan Smith, forbade him from entertaining the blasphemous ideas of science, evolution, and unhappiness. Deep down in his Logan-given soul, he was certain that his Logan-given brain actually knew they were true. He wanted to serve Logan Smith completely, but the world, truth, and reality kept getting in the way. This made him absolutely incandescent with rage. Why could he not follow his god, the one true god, Logan Smith of the river visit? He only wanted to bestow peace and love upon his fellow bigfoot, while eviscerating any bigfoots who questioned the word of Logan Smith, as had been scrawled into the bark of a 200 year old Eastern Black Walnut tree down by the river and recited to the Bigfoot Council by Jeeah, the bigfoot prophet, the only known bigfoot to have ever seen the elusive Logan Smith.
As he sat and thought in circles, he only became more and more enraged. In a short time, his rage consumed him and he threw off his camouflage, angrily stomped from the forest and raised an unholy terror on the Grubers, a pleasant family of five – Michael, a dentist; Brenda, head of the ECASD PTA; Jennifer, a popular cheerleader and class president; Chula, a budding artist with a boundless curiosity, and Skip a precocious 9 year old – visiting from Wisconsin and the only family in the Lake Wenatchee camp grounds that day.
Surprisingly, to those who monitor from such places that they can monitor such things, Skip Gruber would have been an important next step on the evolutionary ladder had he not been torn limb from limb and gobbled down in a fit of binge eating along with his family. Bigfoot always overate when he was angry. It was the only thing that seemed to calm him down.
And so it was, Bigfoot returned to the forest and re-pledged his bigfoot soul at the base of a 200 year old Eastern Black Walnut, below the Words "Logan Smith was here" followed by some unintelligible scratches that might equally be a holy edict put there by a living, breathing deity or some accidental scratches put there by a badger last mating season.
Logan Smith paused as he examined a Honeycrisp apple in a Whole Foods on the western side of Portland, Oregon. He just never could seem to shake the dread that something he had done in the past had gone horribly wrong and would continue to go wrong until he figured out how to right it. A brief moment later, the wave of despair abated and he continued shopping. His mind wandered to work and the animated stop motion feature he was working on and he briefly wondered if there wasn't room for a bigfoot-type character in it.
The extended Gruber family grieved and worked through the traumatic way in which their beloved son and daughter, grandsons and grand daughters, brother and sister, nephews and nieces met their tragic end.
And those who monitor from such places that they can monitor such things, sighed, and longed for a better blog post.
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